Banc francezi si greseala numar

By George-Paul Cretu | November 18, 2009

Asta este un post in totalitate de pe mail aproape (in afara de ce scriu acum). Primesc o multime de chestii amuzante zilnic, asa e cand omul se plictiseste la servici si iti da tie mail-uri.

In continuare doua dintre ele.

Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine.
It’s a beautiful day, and love is in the air.
Marie leans over to Pierre and says, “Pierre, kiss me!”
Pierre grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie’s lips.
“What are you doing, Pierre?” says the startled Marie.
” I am Pierre, zee fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I have red wine!”
She smiles and they start kissing.
Things began to heat up a little and Marie says, “Pierre, kiss me lower.”
Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and pours it on her breasts.
“Pierre! What are you doing now ?” asks the bewildered Marie.
“I am Pierre, zee fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I have white wine!”
She giggles and they resume their passionate interlude, and things really steam up. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, “Pierre, kiss me much lower!”
Pierre rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap.
He then strikes a match and lights the cognac on fire.
Marie shrieks and dives into the river Seine. Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms into the air and screams furiously, “PIERRE, WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?”

Our hero stands and says defiantly, “I am Pierre, zee fighter pilot! If I go down, I go down in flames!”

- Tzrrrrrrrrrrrrr!, Tzrrrrrrrrrrrr! (telefonul)

Fetita ridica receptorul:

- Alo?

- Buna, scumpo; sunt eu, tati. Mami e cumva in apropierea telefonului?

- Nu, tati, mami e la etaj, in dormitor, cu unchiul Paul.

Dupa o scurta pauza, tati zice:

- Dar, scumpa mea, tu nu ai niciun unchi Paul!

- Oh, ba da, am, si el e la etaj, in camera cu mami, chiar in acest moment.

O alta scurta pauza.

- Uf, bine atunci, vreau ca tu sa faci ceva pentru mine: lasa receptorul pe
masa, alerga la etaj si bate la usa dormitorului si striga la mami: “Masina
lui tati tocmai a intrat în parcare!”

- Bine, tati, doar un minut.

Cateva minute mai tirziu, fetita vine inapoi la telefon.

- Am facut ce mi-ai spus, tati.

- Si ce sa intâmplat, scumpa mea?

- Ei bine, mami s-a speriat rau, a sarit din pat fara nicio haina pe ea, a
inceput sa alerge in stanga si in dreapta tipand, apoi s-a impiedicat de
covor, s-a lovit cu capul de masa de toaleta si acum zace nemiscata!

- O, Doamne! Si ce poti sa-mi spui despre unchiul tau Paul?

- Si el a sarit din pat, fara haine pe el si el s-a speriat rau si a sarit
pe fereastra din spate direct in piscin. Dar cred ca nu stia ca saptamana
trecuta ati scos apa, ca sa o curatati. S-a lovit de fundul piscinei si credca a murit.

O lunga pauza.

O pauza si mai lunga.

O foarte lunga pauza, apoi tati spune:

- Piscina zici? Ããããã…. Aveti numarul 486-5731?

- Nu, cred ca ati gresit numarul.